Tell Me How to Respond, Please!

I need to prepare myself when series of personal questions are coming up, soon, usually in Lebaran. When family and friends gather, they usually start to 'care' about how we are doing: work, study, and love live. For example, they would ask how was your thesis, where do you work, how was the job, when will you be married, how many kids you have, and so on. This personal questions are sometimes really annoying, however, we should respond it nicely.

This year would be different. Most my closest friends are married already, this year, and the year before. It is sometimes hard for me to think that it is really already the time. Family and myself are really aware that we just needs to pray and ask Allah for that. My parents are the one who consider that as priority (maybe after completing thesis). They always told me that each night they always pray for that. It was their priority wish-list. And I am really thankful for that.

I also appreciated parent's efforts who introduced me to many friends which I ended up 'do not know where to go' or 'do not clique for some reasons'. They happened to give up for introducing more people. Then, my brother who had the idea to tell me about his friends. I myself are open-minded person, would not refuse this kind of approach as long as it would not hurt or take advantage or bother other people. Moreover, in the mean time, I also have a close friend who is really caring, loving, and kind, yet unsure when and where we will end up since we will face many differences. Destiny is a real mystery. 

I sometimes think that my past contributed to my present life. Therefore, maybe I had many mistake and was guilty so I need to reflect and ask forgiveness or more 'Istighfar' to Allah. Or, maybe Allah tested me so that I can get closer to Him. Ramadhan is the best time to really purify my soul and surrender all my heart and life. However, it was really challenging to fight with our nafs to Dunya. Astaghfirullah. Hopefully this year I can get the answer. I myself do not want to force much and  am still enjoying the process to improve myself. I am still far for being an ideal or better Muslimah or person.

Sometime thing that really hits me is the feeling of completeness of being woman; having family and kids for sure. It just made me envy more is when I see a Mom and her lovely kids. Also it really burden me when my parents start to tease me that they are ready and wanting  for grandchildren. Or when my younger brother thought that he is more than ready than I am. At first, I was being uneasy and kinda yelled at him, but recently I was just being calm and support his decision as long as my parents give their approval.

I hope when the questions are being asked, I would be able to respond it nicely and elegantly! But, tell me, how??

15 Ramadhan 1435 H

Time Will Heal, Time Will Refill

Change is inevitable and the only thing that is constant.  It is indeed true. However, the abrupt change in my Office drove me crazy and dragged me in a moment of sadness and emptiness. The first days of reality , I felt like there was a big hole in my heart I did not know how to overcome. It was the nature of being woman who are blessed with a high sensitivity and emotionalism. I, the person, who thought am very senseless, really could not help crying. I cried for couple days in the morning before going to Office. I was confused to whom I talk to, discuss with, and rely on. For me and for us, I think it was just  too sudden.

Time indeed will heal. I believe in that. Hence, when you needed urgent response and not enough time to consolidate. How to react? I was very thankful that there are many supporting colleagues and friends who sincerely help. I thank to the one who always listen patiently, support, and  advice wisely. I was also very grateful that my colleagues are also a part of the problem solver.

I learned that we just need to be open, ask to the right person, seek for solution, and communicate effectively. Do not ever think that you are alone. Do not ever feel that you can do everything and you can solve every problems. Imperfections and mistakes are very natural. At the end, you will discover that you are stronger than what you ever think!

I am feeling better now, and believe that things will get better.

Sincerely,
Kiki

Jangan Dibelenggu Usia

13 Ramadhan 1435 H- Yogyakarta.

Semakin bertambah usia, hendaknya manusia semakin bijaksana dalam menyikapi persoalan, kehidupan, dan perbedaan. Idealnya memang seperti itu. Namun, kadangkala tidak semudah itu ketika dihadapkan dalam berbagai kompleksitas hidup. Manusia seringkali lupa bahwa hidup adalah proses untuk terus berjuang, terus bersyukur, dan terus belajar dalam menyikapi persoalan dengan lebih bijaksana.

Ujian untuk menjadi bijaksana seringkali berasal dari usia itu sendiri. Usia kadang menjadi alarm, yang sangat mengganggu kenyamanan tetapi sangat kita perlukan sebagai pengingat hendak ke mana dan harus apa. Pertambahan usia memang sesuatu yang sangat niscaya, dan refleksi dari bulir-bulir waktu yang kita habiskan dan keputusan-keputusan yang kita buat. 

Ketika hidup bermasyarakat, usia seringkali menjadi ironi dan tidak mencerminkan kedewasaan. Namun, masyarakatlah yang menjustifikasi manusia tertentu untuk tunduk pada budaya yang telah disepakati. Stigma akan melekat pada manusia yang menyimpang dari kebudayaan atau kebiasaan yang telah berabad dianut. Di situlah ujian berasal terutama ketika kemampuan manusia terbatas dalam menyikapi reaksi dan respon dari perbedaan.

Usia akan menguji kesabaran dan kebijaksanaan, terutama ketika dibenturkan dengan tekanan-tekanan dari dalam dan luar. Pilihan menjadi bijaksana seringkali diganggu dan dibelenggu oleh keinginan-keinginan muluk nan ideal yang ada dalam imagi manusia. Banyak keinginan dan kemauan yang justru merusak pikiran jernih kita.

Usia juga menjadi faktor dan alasan dalam mengambil keputusan-keputusan penting dalam hidup. Semoga apapun keputusan itu tetap didasarkan pada akal jernih dan kebijaksanaan, bukan hanya karena kepasrahan dan keputus-asaan.

Janganlah kita dibelenggu usia, tetapi jadikan usia sebagai pengingat ke arah yang lebih baik!

Where were I ??

It has been almost a year since I 'abandoned' my blog.  There were many ups and downs, tears and laughter, sad and happy stories. Overall, this one year is full of life learning. I will write some stories of my life on my blog soon. Hopefully for the days to come, I will regularly share my thought and concerns on this blog.

Cheers,
Kiki

My Brother Birthday

On August 10th, 2013.
To celebrate means (not) to forget.
We wish you all the happiness and success in the future!

All the best and all the love for you.

Fierce Adventure: Cerme Cave Tour

Sebuah Refleksi Perjalanan
Selalu mendapati bahwa kebersamaan dan kegembiraan adalah dua hal yang tak pernah bosan untuk dirayakan. Ketika pertemanan bermekaran, layaknya bunga yang senantiasa dipelihara, perhatian dan pengertian adalah bak air dan pupuk yang memberikan kekuatan dan kesuburan. Begitulah, beruntung menemui lebih dari satu, dua, tiga, sampai lima belas teman-teman yang mampu menguatkan, berbagi gelak tawa, dan mengurai lebih dari sekedar cerita, tetapi ceria yang tak lekang oleh anomali cuaca Jogja.

Setelah beberapa segmen yang dilalui bersama, baik dalam rangka belajar atau bermain bersama, aku menemukan bahwa setiap jiwa adalah unik dengan segala warna-warninya. Perlu waktu beberapa saat bagiku untuk berdamai dengan keinginan yang tak cukup sabar menunggu, atau kebesaran hati untuk berkompromi dengan sang pencerah yang wejangannya terlalu indah untuk tidak dituruti. Aku pun memilih jalan tengah yang mempertemukan dengan satu rombongan ini.

Bersama rombongan ini Sabtu bulan yang lalu, aku bertamasya. Perjalanan bersama - apapun itu baik dalam kebersahajaan atau kegilaannya - senantiasa berkesan. Perjalanan tidak hanya mampu memberikan rasa gembira dan rileks, namun yang lebih penting, perjalanan adalah obat mujarab. Perjalananan cukup mampu mengobati penyakit yang mengendap dalam hati dan memori.

Kami mendaki dan menelusuri alam, yang telah didesain dengan variasi keindahan yang eksotis nan alami. Originalitas alam selalu jujur dan tak pernah mengelabui. Justru kita yang harus mawas diri dan membersihkan hati.  Imogiri dan Gua Cerme menjadi saksi dan pembelajaran bahwa jejak kaki yang kami injakkan di sana adalah tekad dan niat untuk lebih mengapresiasi kebersamaan. Kebersamaan yang mencoba kami ukir melalui kegembiraan  dan kebahagiaan yang dibagi. 

Dan setelahnya, aku menemukan bahwa alam adalah teman, bahwa teman layaknya alam. Kita bagian dari mereka, mereka bagian dari kita. Oleh karenanya, kita harus saling menjaga dan memelihara agar mekarnya lestari. Agar harumnya semerbak mewangi, dan saling menguatkan supaya sakit segera terobati. Dan ternyata, memilih menjadi gembira dan ceria adalah mekanisme pengobatan diri. Terima kasih telah membantu menumbukan keceriaan dan kegembiraan, duhai alam dan teman-teman!

Salam,

Pecinta alam dan petualangan

I will see you in the next following months

Bismillaah, InsyaAllah, Amiin :)

Credit picture: http://dolcevitabylaura.blogspot.com/2012_09_01_archive.html