Marching on March

I started writing this post on 1.31 am and now is already April. Welcome April! It is nice to see you. Please be nice to me. However, I used the title 'Marching on March' to pretty much conclude what was going on and what have been on my mind lately, since March.

• I wish I can be productive and more productive everyday, in all aspect of life, including in updating the blog. Yet, the fact is the contrary. See, look at this blog! The last post was updated one month ago. So basically in March I only produced one post. It really pictured how my productivity was. Too bad! I had indeed  reasons to justify why it happened, but yeah, it was only scapegoating other businesses. Frankly, let say doing thesis and  preparation for my big day. But, it is not really justified, because I did not show my best also on those two big things. There are many people who helped me a lot and deserved many credits. First, I would dedicate to my Mom and my family who endlessly support me, morally and spiritually. I remember once I felt very powerless but their words just lifted me up, cheer me up a bit and made me surrender more to Allah . Yes, I believe God has sent many angels in my life. They are one of them. I learned that some positive comments or words are just so powerful to change people's mindset towards life.

• Productivity could increase happiness. It lead to other productivity that would energize your day. It will fulfill you and make you feel gain something. The effect is you can be happy. There is feeling of completion and fulfillment that make you feel good. Productivity was not always in line with business. But mostly it works hand in hand. Besides, productivity will feed your hunger of activity. However, you still need some cashes to survive. To be realistic, the cash will equip your life, and somehow made you whether smile or grin. For me, not being able to make some cashes yet is such a 'misery', especially when you used to be very active and busy (different with productive, I just say 'busy'), especially when you are old, educated and experienced more than enough. I should have been being independent, financially (and more important: my-ways of thinking). In terms of financial support, I should have thanked to foreign currencies on my pocket that supported me enough these days. Hopefully soon I can get the enlightenment and firmness on my decision about my future. 

• I  wish that my blog is not merely sharing about my personal life as it is used to be. But if  it is, I wish it will be inspiring, useful and beneficial for readers. I think, it is still away from that standards. But, I am sure although it contained random thought of my life, there must be some readers out there who found it useful (why I become so confident about this, haha). Writing is not an easy-peasy, especially when it comes to your personal. For me it needs courage, effort, and mood. But whatever the reasons behind the story, I always think that writing is such a healing. It is self-healing that can enlighten you and relieve your 'not-feel-right-thingy' that sublimed on your head or heart. Because not every person wanna listen to your stories, so writing does really help.

Thank you for your kind attention and patience to read this long random thoughts.

With love, Kf 

Life Intersection

In my muse, in between my life's intersection, after I have finished torturing myself, and secured by God and Universe's grace, I found this following virtues:

• We live in this world of imagination and reality. Dream, is in between. We should not stop dreaming, until once you wake up and realize that you have to act and work hard to achieve it. Every result must have passed through a long process of tears, thirst, and sweat. So, what makes a difference for each person achieving their dreams? It is soul and energy that made it different. When you do it with your soul wholeheartedly, you won't run out of energy all the time. You will be proud and glad with what your doing no matter how others value you.
• Regarding about value. Each person has their own interpretation. The same things can have different value for different people. It is how they give meaning and appreciation to an object. Sometimes, it really depends on their perspective and life principle and we cannot argue that. We have to compromise it. It is really important to respect their interpretation.
• After my hibernation due to urgent needs, I went out for fulfilling my business. All the way to the places, I saw faces and phenomenon. I heard talks and scream. I met eyes to eyes with people and try to process whats going on and how it works. I observed surrounding and found many new and exciting things. Those simple things, really an eye-opening moment for me. Why, that short moment moved me? Because it made me feel small yet at the same time made me smile and grateful. It transferred good energy for me to be better. When I decided to hibernate and block my surrounding, I only focused on my own self. How I finish my task and so on. But then, when I go out, it gives me comprehensive feeling. After that, I talked to myself that I can not block myself from surrounding. I have to focus on my goal but never forget that surrounding can give you more meaning to life. Simply said, I won't forget to look around, experience, feel, and expand more. 
• Other people is important, as you, as well. That is why, I really like the quote that reminds me that it is not only about you all the time. You are not always the center of everything. Yes, it made me realize two things: First, we need supporting system. We can not walk alone. We are so selfish and arrogant if we think we can. We need others and other need us, as well. If you feel weak, team up together it made you stronger. That is somehow true. Yet, we have to be so mindful and wise to choose how our supporting system. The name itself (supporting system) says it all. Second, live alone if you can not understand others! Other feeling as well is also precious. No matter the reason is. 
• To grow up is never easy, there is room for adjustment and improvement. That is why sometime you have indescribable feeling about something. Your mood swung so easily. You have mixed feeling to changes. You cried sentimentally with or without reason. You can be so ecstatic, yet you are so gloomy at the same moment. It is scientifically natural. You have to be true to yourself to express wisely your feelings. 
• To live is a perpetual learning process. And to make the process went successfully, you have to keep balancing. Because life is about balance. There is portion of each to fulfill. When I saw a very successful smart powerful person at career or business but they are failed at home. I am sorry I lost respect for them, and I don't consider them as a success person. No matter what.
• If I can choose a space for growing up. I choose place that give me spacious room for happiness, warmth, trust, and appreciation. Because with that I nurtured my soul and mind to develop happiness, warmth, trust, and appreciation to others. And with that we can be grateful with all we have, all our effort, no matter how small and hard it would be. With that, I can breath peacefully and generate our productivity, and more happiness.
• God is The One who Dispose our destiny and life path. So, please keep in mind that you always have Him. You always remember Him, and seek the light to always get closer to Him.

It is always easier to say and write rather than practicing. However, I am gonna practice and commit that I am willing to face my life intersection with a happy and positive attitude towards challenges and opportunities ahead. Keep praying, keep Ikhtiar, keep balancing, and never stop dreaming! Bismillah.

Best, Kf

[About US] Moments to Remember

(Remembering while listening this lovable song of Jeremy Passion - "Suddenly")

I loved this song especially the Reff and the title which pretty much described about how we met and progressed our relationship which I can call 'suddenly'

Here I would like to mark the dates of our memorable events:

[05*08*14]

The first day you came to meet me (at my office)

[07*08*14]

The first dinner date at Parsley (accompanied by my cousin)

[09*08*14]

You came to my kost, first (informal) proposal

[31*08*14]

The first outing to the Beach (Gunung Kidul)

[21*09*14]

Spending a lovely evening at Bukit Bintang

[26*09*14]

Road trip to Blitar (accompanied by your parents)

[27*09*14]

Meeting my parents in Blitar

....

....

....

[24*01*15]

I said 'Yes' (in a formal way)

Engagement day. 

Above is the timeline of our short story about how we found each other and decided to go further. We have not treasured love story long enough. Yet, we will grow and nourish our love and life skills to conquer our future. And today is D-93 before the next new exciting and challenging chapter of our life. Hopefully God always give his guidance and mercy to us. Amiin.

NOTE:

I will write more about the details of our story later on to ensure that our decision is not impulsive or sudden ones. Each decision we took involved God (first and foremost), family, and of course our truly-selves. 

Nasehat Seputar Keluarga dan Pernikahan [Part.1]

Beberapa bulan yang lalu, saya giat mengaji melalui Youtube. Aktivitas itu biasanya saya lakukan sehabis sholat subuh untuk menghindarkan diri dari kebiasaan tidur lagi. Nampaknya cukup efektif. Alhamdulillah saya mendapatkan ilmu baru dan juga menghilangkan rasa kantuk di kala subuh. Saat itu saya tergelitik dengan tema pernikahan dan keluarga. Saya pun mencari di Youtube kajian mengenai tema-tema tersebut. Dan dalam postingan ini saya menuliskan kembali rangkuman saya. Semua nasehat ini saya rangkumkan dari hikmah yang disampaikan oleh Bapak Quraish Shihab.

HARMONISASI KELUARGA

• Kekayaan tidak menjamin kesejahteraan
• Mengenai perkara sejahtera, Nabi bersabda : "Ketika pagi merasa aman tenteram, memiliki kesehatan dan afiat, serta makanan yang terhidang di permukaan bumi"
• Oleh karena itu syarat keluarga sejahtera, di antaranya:

1. Perasaan aman dan tenteram. Aman dalam hatinya, terhadap sanak keluarga dan hartanya
2. Kesehatan -> berkaitan dengan jasmani, dan afiat --> berkaitan dengan rohani.
3. Cukup sandang, pangan, dan papan
4. Mandiri, bekerja sungguh-sungguh dan puas dengan hasilnya. Karena, ketergantungan adalah bagian kesengsaraan.
5. Memiliki anak, sebanyak kemampuan.
6. Memiliki wawasan, tidak berhenti dan terus maju menambah pengetahuan

• Konflik dalam keluarga sebaiknya diselesaikan dengan musyawarah.
• Perceraian adalah hal yang dibenci Allah.
• Berfikirlah secara matang sebelum pernikahan, jangan sekali-kali berfikir untuk perceraian, jangan melupakan hari-hari bahagia, dan jangan membongkar aib atau keburukan pasangan.
• Sebaiknya memberi lebih banyak dan menuntut lebih sedikit.
• Terbentuknya keluarga sakinah terdiri dari beberapa elemen yaitu setelah mawaddah, rahmah, dan amanah yang terpenuhi.
• Pengertian sakinnah adalah ketenangan batin setelah gejolak, bergabungnya kecerdasan pandangan dengan tekad kuat, serta menyatunya pemahaman dan kesucian jiwa.

AMANAH, JANJI, DAN BAKTI KEPADA ORANG TUA

• Sayyidina Ali : Ada tiga hal yang harus disepakati walaupun berbeda, yaitu:

1. AMANAH, harus ditunaikan walaupun kepada non-Muslim.
2. JANJI, bahkan harus dipenuhi walaupun kepada binatang.
3. BAKTI KEPADA ORANG TUA.

• Mengapa bakti kepada orang tua dimasukkan dalam tiga hal tersebut?
• Karena orang tua memiliki naluri untuk mencintai dan berkorban kepada anak. Sedangkan anak BELUM TENTU. Oleh karena itu, Allah berpesan agar anak berbakti kepada orang tua.
• Bakti kepada Ibu dikarenakan 'penderitaan' yang dialami sebelum dan sesudah memiliki anak, yaitu ketika mengalami period,  mengandung, dan menyusui.
• Ayah mendampingi Ibu dalam melalui ketiga hal tersebut.
• Bakti belum tentu tidak mendurhakai.
• Bakti berarti:
• Mensyukuri --> menerima sedikit merasakan banyak, memberi banyak menganggap sedikit.
• Berbuat sebaik mungkin.

Sekian sedikit rangkuman bagian pertama saya. Semoga bermanfaat bagi pembaca.

Thank You 2014, Look Forward to 2015!

First week of January has been treating me fine. Life has provided me with a lot of blessings and abundance of love as well as burdens and sadness so I won't complain and grumble. Whenever I feel sad and almost give up I will remember that : I am still alive. I still have hope and faith. I am blessed with imperfections which made me closer to the Infinity. So, I am still grateful for the life and love.

I will follow the mainstream way to greet the new year with the last year's contemplation and resolution for new year. 2014 is the year of struggle, routines, surprise, adjustment. I am writing while recollecting the memories of 2014. I had a vivid picture of new year's celebration of 2014. I had no resolution at that time. 2014 went so swift.  It consisted of  hellos, goodbyes, routines, tears, laughter, love and struggles. I had no time for contemplating through this blog since early until mid year of 2014. I am busy with work and study while enjoying some fun activities to keep in balance.

Working : I spent most my time at the office. The transition and adjustment not only exhausted us but also forced us to fit in quite often. I remembered there were many dramas, tears, and political hassle internally. The positive side: the bond among the team indeed grew stronger. We never failed to support each other in the time of crisis. Yes, I mentioned that term ( 'times of crisis') many times:. Sometimes, things got so illogical and irrational and we had to pass the time of crisis, whether successfully or unsuccessfully.

The keywords for 2014 beside time of crisis are criminalizing the heroes, 'oppression', the iron of bureaucracy and violation of human right. Hoho, does that sounds so scary? I might be a bit exaggerate the situation. However, it indeed really happened as a consequence of the shifting of political regime. As a worker, we can not really fix the situation. Once, I wanted to apply one method taught in my political class. The method to respond the ongoing 'violation' which is disobedience. Hehe, but that did not really work. Because when we disobey the command or policy the effect will get worse.

There is always rainbow after hurricane and the storm will always pass. In each situation that can be a mantra. Glad and proud enough we are a solid and supportive team. I would not forget there was time when we were all sick, because of unhealthy working environment, work overload, and vertical pressure. It felt very uneasy. We were so tired and weary. Time ticked so fast, from morning until late noon we could just did work for others, for pleasuring the Big Boss. One time, I got a high fever in between that time of crisis. I won't forget that and was thankful for people taking care of me at my worst.

We can easily remember the bad times yet we also have to value the good times. I had good relationship with my colleagues and bosses. Personally and professionally, I almost had no problems with them. The stories mentioned above are only my critics toward the transformation I could not really accept. At the end of the year, I was offered the promotion and many 'services lips' in terms of incentives and improvement. However, I firmly decided I would resign for good. I already discussed with my parents and they support my decision. The main reason I wrote on my resignation letter were family concern and focus on finishing my Master studies.

The goodbye, just like any other good bye is not easy, Yet, I already decided!

Study: I can not really say much about it. I missed many classes due to office duty, therefore I did not follow the lessons well. The teacher also gave me some made-up test and assignments, which was good. And finally time for thesis. Thesis was really challenging. The first challenge is for the supervisor. I always compared with my previous supervisor in my bachelor degree and it just made me sad. So I never compared again. They were just different and I had to know the characteristic. I worked hard to steal her heart and I think I did it. She was so helpful and cooperative as a person. Yet, she never really supervised me substantially. Whenever we met we had a good discussion but only superficial things. The second challenges is about the topic itself. So a lesson learned is be smart with your topics. And better you chose topic that interest or attract you so you will have energy and spirit to mingle and dated with them.

Personal: In the beginning of the year, I gained weights a lot. It was the record that I hit that number. It happened when I only sit in front of laptop and finish my work. At work, I sat hours and hours, after-work I also sat hours and also consumed unhealthy snack a lot.  I had to catch up with my left-behind works at class so I stayed up late and food was my friend. After realizing that, I committed to have a better and healthy life style. I exercised and arranged my food portion and time. I jogged almost everyday at the morning before works. At weekend I tried another jogging tracks so that I never bored with the situation. I bought smaller plates, I cooked my own food, a lot of vegies and fruits, and skipped a big portion of dinner. Never forget: I download many Zumba series to exercise and produce sweat. Those life style just made me happy. I had supportive friends who accompany me to set the target. Although I did not reach my ideal weight, I was happy that I lost 2-3 kg for a month. It needs willingness and consistency to continue that healthy life style. I stopped already after knowing the result.

God's plan really surprised me. New people, new life-choice, new decision, new family, new life-rhythm will always create new stories. Stories that sometime when you have been trying to understand you will conclude that's the destiny, that's your fate. I am not the kind of frontal people who can describe personal stories or feelings clearly or directly. I liked to use much metaphors or explaining so abstract, especially for romance or love-affairs. So, I am trying to be honest with the feelings. Long story short, I have made big and serious decision in 2014.  I am happy and excited to welcome the new chapter in 2015. I know it will be hard and challenging as well, but when the right time is coming, I am ready to accept the challenges.

[To be continued]