A Cup of Complicated Heart

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Setting :

On my 3x3 cubicle room. Enjoying a cup of coffee to comfort me tonight. Listening to series of MLTR songs. Now "Complicated Heart" is ON. I supposed to finish my writing, but I don't. I don't have any guts at all. I happened to see such a blinking star today, should have followed the light, but I hold back. OMG, it's so near. So near. Please approach me with your elegant yet modest way! Please, lead me with Your light, show me Your best plot of my life-line.. Please, I am begging..

Dear readers,

Sorry in advance. This is another trash-entry of my grumble. Please don't mind to read this.

Recently, I found that many people are just too self-centric and egoistic? Don't you think so? Ehmm, I don't know. May. Yeah, it's May. Maybe Yes and Maybe No. So, why you care of other business? I don't, seriously. But, it is also evidence that you are egoist. So, fine with that. Maybe, we need sometimes to be egoist. Until, we finish with our own business to start care with others. Haha. Maybe, that's wrong. But, I don't care.

Then, I am questioning myself. Have you hurt others? Have others hurt you? How did you feel about it? Feel good in pain, huh? So, I am just so wondering. Why there are human beings who tend to do such a thing, and even feel good and laugh afterward? So, please reverse that condition.. That's why most times, I rather withdraw myself and chose to be neutral.

Also, how many times you 'mute' yourself? Or choose to be 'invisible' in the crowd? Or feel never 'exist'? Then, what does that mean? It means that you are carefully listening and seeing, until you started questioning? What's wrong with me, what's wrong with them, what's wrong with this, and that. And, actually nothing is wrong. You are just too afraid of your own-fear. Until you limit yourself with your fortress.

For those who are permissive, you are not alone.
You, who know the consequences, but broke the lines.. You are not alone.
You, who know there will be a nightmare, but sleep on very well.. You are not alone.

Hi my dear heart,
We should be really grateful that today we still feel the pain before we gain something. Look outside, how many less-unfortunate people around us who gain nothing, but consumed pain each day and everyday until it doesn't feel like pain anymore. Because they are living on it.

Hi my dear friends,
Please mind your mind! Our heart is too chaotic. Please look at the mirror before start to blister others!

Hi my dear God,
I may ask You to give me a much better brain, better memory.. but what I need the most now is the sensible heart! Make each day of my life is worth-living and worth to be remembered!

Hi my dear universe,
Why are there so many people on this world? Those who come and go, stay and leave, remembered and forgotten, harsh and kind. Those people in our life who ever say 'hello', 'blink', or even 'touch' our life. I hope we can learn from each others. Life is such mystery. I hope there will be no more misery. Please accept the things that we acknowledge the differences. So, i think it's better NOT to follow others, before you learn to follow your heart.

I am learning through my good friend that I should : Love and appreciate them who treat me right! Forgive and forgot those who don't!

Look at this below. I hope you found it very relieving.

Anyway, my most favorite quote, is a saying from a good friend who tells me: "You are not alone!" So, thank you for reading this, at least you convince me that I am not alone.

I think I should stop now because I am haunted by such a blinking star! I better to chase it now or never! It's really near :) Please wish me luck!

Thank you.

PS. I cant wait for such a surprising news! I hope it's a good one!