Post K.K.N. Reflection

Too much to count, too many to tell.
I will start from my community service stories. Well, I have just officially finished my community service duty, today, after completing the responsibility to the school. Unlike the other days of our trip to Wonosari, today we rode my friend's car. The trip seemed more enjoyable and faster, especially in the hot temperature day. OMG. I still cant believe that I stayed the same. My innocent behavior should be responsible of what I have done. So, this what happened : I switched off my mobile phone due to empty battery since the night before. After praying subuh in Masjid, I felt a sleep and just woke up around 9 a.m. Then, I remembered to switch on my mobile phone. There were several messages coming, one of them was from my KKN team. Then, I was ruined in a big hurry to get ready to the campus. Oh, God, I hate myself to being that way.

I once said that too much control would make no sense. On this context, I was strongly irritated by the mechanism created by institution that has the authority to control the whole system of community service. Simply, why they bother to complicate stuff. It's maybe a typical of Indonesia procedural system. Ok, then enough to complain, and wouldn't change anything, except if they are sensible enough to reflect on what many students may have articulated in the sense of inefficiency.

They called it ‘sosiogram’. What a shit of sheet I can say. I don’t know whether it’s part of grading system or not. Frankly, I don’t like judge (rank) others by putting them unequal to what they have contributed. Maybe some friends support this kind of consideration, but I powerfully argue that this will create worst and unfair results. First reasons, as a team we are built to work together, support, and complete each others. So we mayn’t compare one to each just by concluding that one has a better contribution to others. Each one has their own portion and contribution. One may give a small but urgent yet significant input to the team. Second reasons, I believe that regardless objectivity principle we hold, we tend to act subjectively. Therefore, I vote for 'floating mass' on this situation, with such thoughtful considerations, such as a betterment for all and for the sake of long term relationship.

KKN is quite experience that thought me a lot. It was a another life phase sample that made me think, feel, react, reflect, then realize that I am a perfect human blessed with imperfect traits. When we struggled in a team, we mostly deal with frictions within our own consciousness, interpersonal relations and conflicting motion of thoughts with others. Then, after all, I knew myself better and the way others think and react. Too many to count, and, too many times we missed the moment to be touched, to be heard, to be hold on. We may easily forgot that basically we are just the same. If we can listen more, do more, involve more, and share more, we may miscalculate the days we spent compared with satisfaction and preciousness others may feel. When I realized that way, I want to rotate the time and change the scenario so that I won't 'amoeba-ing' quite often.

UNIT 95 -my KKN team- in front of Lobi HI, Fisipol UGM, 2010

It's ashamed if we just know the name, never asked how they feel, even seldom thank to their deeds. We also couldn't blame the system we committed, if that really happened. It was just too pity for me if this togetherness didn't reach out deep down inside our heart. I mean, I wouldn't exaggerate things, but we really need to value that we are not a robotic creature. Every act has tendency, motivations, and intentions. Then, we have to build our sense of sympathy and empathy. Maybe it's too easy to say, but hardly to understand and practice. Simply I wanna say : don't hurt others, don't backstabbing others, and don't underestimate others. It's better to appreciate others, and give a positive support to their deeds.

I'm glad to have shared and experienced this two months of community service together with my teammate. I really appreciated that we have tried to contribute our best. When I looked upon them, there were many memories drawn inside my brain-disk, and locked tidily in my heart. Because every jokes created happiness. Every smiles cured bad days. Every success generated optimism. Every appreciation invented confidence. Every shared-stories established trust. Every togetherness built understanding. And loving will grow through bad and good days. And time will show who true friend are.

On the other hands, I strongly oppose any forms of humiliation. In whatever intentions it may take, I rather withdrawing myself and choose 'mute' mode. Maybe, it's not the best way to react. But I will not worsen the situation by adding some opinion and random info. Because every humiliation will cause wound and big hole in other heart. Because we never know yet beyond their appearance, actions and reactions, what their real conditions, motivations, and intentions are. Haha. It's getting more absurd and I started mumbling randomly.

Afterward, I just wanted to sincere thank and sorry to all my friends during this two months. It's very delighted to work with you. I was very honored to spend minutes, hours, days, and months with you who are indeed very good people, very good students. Thank you.

Cheers, for all the best,

Kiki Fauzia

"Seorang terpelajar harus berlaku adil sudah sejak dalam pikiran, apalagi dalam perbuatan," - Pramoedya Ananta Toer