I identified myself 'on the crisis' on these last weeks. I didn't how describe but I experienced this kind of 'guilty' feelings afterward and didn't know how to recover it. It's been a while that I captured myself being trapped in this kind of 'spiritual illness'. One friend said that it's actually good that I had self-consciousness to identify the symptoms. But still for me, I need support and forces to grab me back in the quality that I have been begging for.
It really works when one said, "If you have problems, find the right person to talk with. Share what you have been thinking and feeling. Listen what he/she said. Then applying to yourself." That just what I did, I talked with the eligible and trustworthy person, which is actually my Mom. She really encouraged me to be better, without pushing and blaming. So, I was motivated to change my previous behaviour.
Now, after sharing, I felt much lighter and better. Days by days, I tried to improve my spiritual quality. That's not only make my life lighter and brighter but also make me feel more peace and secured inside. That's more than anything else. Thanks Mom and Thanks God. I hope this feeling will be sustained in my heart.
Best regards, =KF=