Monday, April 5, 2010

M A R R I A G E

"My friend, younger than me, just married a few days ago. She will be
holding her wedding celebration this week. I will come for sure.
Some friends of mine already got married.
Many people decided to married on these months.
I read blog about young couple's marriage."

Those all made me over-thinking about 'marriage'^^ Haha. And all of sudden I remembered my high-school's dream. Yes, I want to get married on young age. Hahaha. So silly if I remembered that.
I understand that marriage isn't as easy as folding back our hands. We need to learn much and of course be fully-ready to that next stage of our-life.
Marriage dominated my brain tonight rather than my exam preparation.
Haha. Marriage. When? Where? With whom?
All are still m y s t e r y

Regards, -KF-

4 comments:

afsjogja said...

Marriage is a strange thing. My great-grandma was married when she was 16 or 17. But today's girl prefer to have a career first then married.

Fitri's case is sure a phenomenon of today where she considered lucky to find her mate in the first pick.

But when you think about it, marriage is not only the moment of proclaiming husband and wife. it evolves around a bigger space of personal dan families relationship. Marriage is a process to lessen your ego and try to understand other's point of view and in the same time sharing positive things about your future life.

Ofcourse, to be able to reach that point where you decide this is it, is a complicated and involve self-contemplated process. but, there is one thing you have to be sure about married, that is to make sure that the person you decide to marry should have a 'working' relationship with you.So it's not merely on who you marry but how that person would eventually try to build relationship for the rest of your life. How conflicts are resolved is sure a key point to see whether or not that person suits you.

Just some thoughts.

Kiki Fauzia said...

you just sound like a marriage consultant, especially on the 3rd and 4th paragraph. your insight thought was marvelous, and seem that you had depth thinking over this issue. i highly recommend that afsjogja should open 'marriage consulting service'! haha

in my opinion, the big challange is, as you also mentioned, how to create an everlastingly sustained 'working' relationship. in this case, i have question, how do we first value that this/that person would have a good 'working' relationship with us in the future. because, it's kind of 'black-swanning' things.

also, i think spouse should have a strong foundation, just like any other institutions. the common vission-mission towards their future is highly needed.

marriage-life itself is indeed process. conflict and problems surely will come and go. but when they have a common vission about 'what the main purpose of the marriage (family) is/are', they can always be back on the right track (path).

just my PREMATURE thoughts.
seems that it's not that easy^^

herupyuda said...

Finally I get back on this again.

Another shock therapy I got when I met Latif an 19 year old returnee of YES who'll get married next year. Oh my God!!!

After consulting with him, I see the truth behind a strong commitment in his bravery to propose a marriage. One of the important is the purpose of marriage in order to perfecting religious obligations. And truly, Allah's guidance has lead him to the decision.

I never knew.

But he told me that marriage is nothing to be afraid of, then I recalled what I wrote before, that marriage is a process of dyadic relationship that share everything, from foods, money, love, pray, even all the problems that rising after marriage.

After talking to Latief, I realized that I lack of praying in this issue. So I might start doing so since my time is getting closer. :)

To answer your question, I think that maturity to accept your spouse for whoever and whatever issues he/she brings is one of the key to make it everlasting. In other words, marriage is acceptance.

And yes, both of them have to have strong commitment and joint vision toward the future as well.

Another thoughts :)

Kiki Fauzia said...

"... So I might start doing so since my time is getting closer. :)

Hahaha. I will underline your last statement. So, in the near future, I will be awaiting for another wedding celebration of OIA family, after Mbak Aniek and Fitri. Hehe^^

I couln't comment on Latief's case because I didn't hear from the first person point of view. But for me, he's an extremely brave boy, to accept all consequences and responsibilities on young age-marriage.

Every person must have a will, but the readiness is hard to measure. A strong willingnes must be supported by an adequate knowledges(ilmu) and other resources. Marriage is very sacred and noble. Thus, each has to be well-equipped before decide to 'jump-in'.

Also, refer to what you ever said that it evolves a bigger than personal space and attachs to families relationship, it never can be egoistic. Yes, marriage is acceptance, also understanding, and always forgiving.

Another premature thought!